Is this too much?
There was a big chat about this in the group the other day, and actually after thinking about it for a while I realised it was something that I used to personally struggle with (and it looks like a few of us do) and that is whether an outfit feels appropriate for what we’re doing.
The interesting thing is, I think some of us are actually getting stuck on isn’t the practical appropriateness… it’s the perceived appropriateness. The social side of it.
If you’re thinking, “Wait, what?” — let me explain.
One of the really practical parts of getting dressed is simply asking:
– Is this practical for what I’m doing today?
– Is it weather-appropriate?
– Will I be warm enough?
– Can I move and do what I need to do?
– Is it comfortable?
All of these questions sit alongside the visual side of what we wear.
And at this stage in our lives, they probably carry equal weight if not more than how we look or how we feel in something.
That’s part of how so many of us ended up in a style rut: dressing for comfort, practicality, survival… but not for how we wanted to feel or caring about how we looked!
It’s a big shift from, say, being 17 and going out in a tiny dress with no coat because you didn’t want to pay for the cloakroom tottering around in heels all night, freezing, but convinced it was worth it because you looked fab.
No one asked for this visual but here it is - The 17-year-old night out matrix 🪩
Priorities: Look 🔥 → Freeze ❄️ → Limp 🩼 → Repeat
My Joyfully Dressed belief is this:
True joyful dressing happens when you wear things you love, that are comfortable, and that are practical for your real life.
When all three align — you're onto a winner. Honestly, that’s the JD sweet spot.
But I think what can still trip us up, even when we’ve nailed all that, is what’s going on in our own heads.
Not do I like this? or is this practical for what i’m doing today? but what will people think of this?
As we grow more confident in our own style, we care less about whether people like what we’re wearing.
But what creeps in instead is this quiet little worry:
👉 Do they think it’s too much?
👉 Do I look like I’m trying too hard?
👉 Is this outfit a bit over the top for what I’m doing?
It's not really about personal taste, it's about perceived appropriateness.
And I see it all the time in the group:
“Can I wear this on the school run?”
“Is this too dressy for a kids party?”
“Am I overdressed to watch the football?”
But here’s the truth:
If you love it, it’s comfortable, and it works for what you’re doing — then it’s not too much.
It’s just you, showing up as yourself. And you are 100% nailing it.
Here’s a small example from my own life:
Every weekend, I’m stood on the sidelines watching my kids play football. In winter, I wrap up thermal gilet, bright raincoat, boots totally practical - in all honesty I probably look a little bonkers, but i’m wearing something colourful, i’m warm and comfy and thats perfect for winter football, and all I care about is being comfortable.
But when the weather’s warm? As far as I’m concerned, I don’t need to dress any differently than I would to pop to the shops or go for coffee. It’s dry, it’s mild, and I’m just standing around, I’m not the one playing a match!?
So this week, I wore a red spotty blouse, barrel jeans, pink Teva sandals, black glasses, and a slick of red lippie.
And someone I’d never met before said:
“Ooh, you look rather glamorous for football!”
A few things:
a) That’s a bit of an odd thing to say to a stranger.
b) I’m not sure I looked glamorous, I was wearing Teva sandals, and actually my outfit was pretty basic!
c) She was wearing jeans, a top, and sandals too basically the same outfit formula, just in more muted colours.
And for a second, I thought:
“Oh do I look weird? Is this too much?”
That little off feeling hit me, that icky moment where something suddenly feels wrong about your outfit, and then you feel like everyone else is thinking the same thing.
But then… it vanished. Instantly.
Because:
Everything I was wearing was appropriate for what I was doing.
I felt lovely.
And honestly? I think the comment said more about her perception of herself than anything about me.
Let’s be honest, it also disappeared quickly because this is my JOB and in the same way JD has been building your confidence since you joined I have been working on my own confidence for years (so if you can’t blow that feeling away so easily that’s 100% understandable and nothing to feel bad about)
So it’s not really about what we’re wearing.
It’s the intention people project onto it, that’s what can throw us.
So just like we’ve (hopefully!) started to move past worrying whether people like what we’re wearing…
We can also start moving past the fear of whether they think it’s “appropriate.”
Because here’s the truth:
✨ You’re not dressing for the imaginary approval of strangers.
✨ You’re not dressing to blend in with a sea of neutral mums at the school gate.
✨ You’re dressing to feel like yourself.
And there is nothing “too much” about that.
It doesn’t matter whether it’s lipstick at the football, a leopard skirt on the school run, or a pair of pink sandals to do the food shop.
If it’s practical, comfortable, and feels joyfully you then it’s exactly right.
That, to me, is the real JD transformation.
So let’s stop asking, “Will they think I’m trying too hard?”
And start asking, “Do I feel like myself today?”
Because that’s the question that really matters 💖
Let me know if this resonates, I’d love to hear your thoughts!
P.S. This post was 100% inspired by Natalie’s post and the wonderful comments and responses from the community. You women are something else. ✨🫶